Talking About Love

There are those who say that love is over, dissolved, outdated. They say that we are no longer able to commit ourselves, we avoid ties, we are not willing to sacrifice ourselves. Yet something does not add up. Are we really no longer capable of loving? 

The hegemony of monogamous and heteronormative love is in crisis, the model no longer holds up, and many other alternatives have been proposed – polyamory, ethical and consensual non-monogamy. In feminist collectives, the search for new relational models has become a question of militancy – deconstructing toxic masculinity, destroying patriarchy, defeating heteronormativity – and in discussion groups we do everything to make our erotic and sexual choices unmistakably recognizable, giving them a name and transforming them into social actions that are acceptable because they are aimed at the Good.

But aren't we trapping ourselves in new norms, new prescriptive categories, new traps? And is it the only legitimate form of desire really the one that doesn't harm anyone? Must our sentimental and sexual choices and preferences necessarily transform themselves into a utopia of peace and justice, even at the cost of eliminating the conflict, immediacy, and contradictions that are typical of the field of feelings? 

By questioning her life, her friends, her relationships, but also books, films, and cultural products of our time, Sofia Torre tries to map the state of things in terms of love and sex. With depth, acuity, and a lot of (self)irony, she gives us a snapshot of a field in which everything is still, and always, to be discussed and explored, whether it is done in an essay or with friends over a bottle of wine. To start again, politically and personally, from the value of relationships, feelings, and sharing.